Eggs on the Equinox

Ah, shoot. I forgot to balance eggs today. Though today my mother told me that they say you can balance eggs any ol' time. The influence of the equinox is so small that it does not affect (have any effect-- is that the correct usage of affect/effect?) the ability of the egg to balance.
I find this to be horrifying. (Yes, overreaction.) My whole life I've been under the impression that it was only twice a year (uh, twice, right?) that one could actually balance an egg! And how exciting! I've been lied to, it seems. Lied to. Again. Like how all my toys when I was little were not actually mine, because I'm the youngest. They were just on loan, you know, from my older siblings. I own nothing from childhood and you can balance eggs any time you want.



Here's a pretty good site about balancing eggs, though I have to say I never heard of only doing it only at the vernal equinox. But whatever. I'm crushed and happy all at the same time. After all, now I can play this game whenever I want. AND I see that I can balance eggs on their narrow end. However, I think I used to have more patience.

Oh well. Happy egguinox everyone.

Brought to you by...

Photos by me
Poems by Gerard Manley Hopkins
Beauty by God

like shining from shook foil


Color Burst




Also, that picture in the last post is by me. Copyright and all that. No stealing.

Delicious Autumn

Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns. ~George Eliot


Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all. ~Stanley Horowitz


Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower. ~Albert Camus

Celebrate!

I'm having a party! I'm so excited-- I'm totally going all out. At least, that is my plan. But then, the party is not for a few weeks and my stress level in relation to the fanciness of the party could go in such a way that fanciness goes down in order that stress level goes down. I need a chart for that. Anyway.
I spent six hours on the evite. On the evite! Oh, it's a pretty great evite, to be sure. Beautiful. It has pictures that I myself took. It is nice fall colors. I made sure that everyone's names appear as actual names and not as silly email addresses on the guest list. I'm just a little bit worried about this: If I spent 6 hours on the electronic invitation, how long am I going to spend on each facet of the party? There's the cleaning, the menu, the presentation... Oh my! I've already started thinking about tiny little things that no one ever cleans and no one ever notices. I'm trying to figure out what I can clean three weeks in advance. AND I'm going to be housesitting for the 10 days leading up to the party. So I won't even be home to prepare. Uff-da.
There's also this about me: The more time I have, the more elaborate the party will become in my head. But I'll inevitably have to cut it down to be realistic and then I'll be disappointed. You'd think knowing this would help. But it won't. I'll still be disappointed. Alas.
I also feel like this isn't the kind of thing I should be posting! What am I thinking? I tell people how great it's going to be and how much time I spent... and then they'll show up and think "Really? She spent that much time? What was she doing? I could have done this in half an hour! And the food really isn't that great." Oh, the insecurity. Bother.

BUT you know what? It's going to be a GREAT party. Festive and all that. With great food and great company. So. Hoorah for that.

Empathy

What is worse? My own personal grief or the grief I feel when I watch someone else in pain?
There has been pain on a big scale around me lately, with the Moores loss and with my college friends losing their baby, etc. But something that hit me really hard just now was a very brief online encounter with my sister in WA who is feeling neglected by her boyfriend, augmented by other stresses of school. I'm sure it's a simple thing and it will probably work out. And even if they got married there would be times when this would happen and she would feel lonely and they will let each other down... I'm realistic about that. But it's still painful. I can hardly stand to see her in pain. Especially when I had to see her in so much pain after her last, really cruel, breakup and now that I know what a breakup feels like.
I nearly wish empathy didn't exist. But oh, what an awful world it would be without it. And aren't we glad that Christ has empathy with us?

Discouraged

I was just told by my mother and sister both that I seem to have a great social life and should just enjoy it and be happy. And, granted, I did have two social engagements after work today. I joined an ex-coworker for cupcakes and then joined friends for a walk and dinner. Tomorrow I'll be happily house-sitting with a dog and three cats! (Okay, that doesn't count as social.)
But I can't help feel losses even through all that. I miss a friendship that was well on its way to developing. I realize that she got busy with her wedding and then she got married and now she spends time with other friends and not me... But isn't that it? Other friends and not me... why not me? It's always that I want to know what went wrong. What did I do? What could I have done differently? Was I too needy? Did I only ever talk about that one thing...
And I just wonder about the cycle of relationships and wonder why some last and some don't and how some survive through distance and some seem to do well set on pause. Relationships are so freakishly important to me (I know, they're important to everyone-- we're relational creatures, as God is a relational God-- but seriously, I'm more relational than anyone I know.) and it's very stressful! And with all I go through thinking about my friendships and peer relationships and family... I don't know how I'm ever supposed to be in a healthy, working romantic relationship. Maybe that's why I'm not. I'll never meet anyone anyway. (Ohhh, so pessimistic!) I'm with the same people in the same places. And you can't just date all the people in one group-- doesn't that start to look a bit suspect? And on the one hand, I'm told that I'm playing it too safe. And then I'm told to just enjoy exactly what I have. Which is it?
Aargh. I would say that I just want nice simple relationships, but that's not what I want at all! That would take all the goodness out of it! I just don't want to stress about it.

Cop. 1, Copy 2

My mother pointed this out the other day when I checked out a DVD from the library:

"Cop." is the same number of characters as "Copy".
So why bother to abbreviate it? Look at the little white label. I don't think it's a matter of space, is it? I realize that the "y" takes up a little more room than the "." but not so much that it's a make it or break it kind of character.
Amusing, really. I never noticed when I worked at library for several years of my life. I'll have to ask my library friends for insight.

Pick yourself up

When you fall, I believe the conventional wisdom is to pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and get back on the horse. My question is this: How important is the "brush yourself off" part? Metaphorically I can see that it could be important. And I suppose it depends on the severity of the fall and location of said debris on oneself.
All this to say that I saw someone today who apparently took a fall... and got back on her horse (read "bike") but skipped the brushing off part.

Looking Forward to Eternity

I guess you shouldn't spend so much time looking forward to things. Either you get disappointed because the thing never happens. Or it doesn't happen the way you imagined. But even if it does happen and is all you imagined-- even more!-- it happens and then it is over.

Tomorrow is my 26th birthday. I have been looking forward to it for as long as I can remember. Why my 26th? It's not 16, 18, 21, 30... No. But tomorrow I turn 26 on the 26th and this, my friends, is my Golden Birthday. Never heard of it? My family says I made up the idea... but I've been waiting for it an awfully long time. It will probably happen. It will probably not be what I imagined. And in about 26 hours it will all be over.

So it is that the only thing we can safely look forward to is to dwell with Christ in eternity, singing His praise. It will be more than I can ever imagine and it will never be over.

The other side of the coin

Stressful day. Even celebratory events were stressful for me, in some capacity. I love being home, but it's always something, isn't it?

You've reserved the shelter at the park two months in advance and the parks department doesn't post it early enough so someone tries to use it too. You get there early to set up and when your relatives show up they rearrange everything anyway. Little things like that all day. You go to a bridal shower and find it a really difficult, painful environment to be in, but you can't leave because you did not drive yourself.

You get home and find out that one of the kittens (sweet, sweet kittens that could be handled by rough children and not scratch) somehow got locked into a cooler and died while you were all out for the day. As if this isn't hard enough, it has to be told to the five children. And your sister is crying. And you're sick over the whole thing.

After you're back to almost enjoying yourself, though you keep mentioning "the kittens" and have to correct yourself, your youngest nephew is brought into the house crying miserably. It turns out that he has climbed onto the tailgate of the truck and turned to jump off, only he fell and hit his head on the concrete slab. So, not only is he crying but now everyone is in a bit of a panic, and is arguing because they're worried. He is finally whisked off the the ER, but you are left with a headache (oh wait, you already had that-- you are left with a worse headache). You are still worried and tired and stressed.

Oh, also, you have a friend over during all of this.


Well, Caleb turns out to be ok, and there's not much you can do about the rest of it. But you realize that you definitely did not take any medication this morning, and it's probably time to go to bed.

Beside, writing from the point of view is only adding to your level of exhaustion.

So, goodnight.

Home with the hicks

Let me tell you something about being home. It's wonderful. California is okay. Home is awesome. Today I was sitting in Taco Time listening to country music and watching pickups drive by. Even the occasional stock trailer. One truck even had a 'coon tail tied to the antenna. I felt so at home. I can tell some things have changed: when I was at the park today, I saw some men throw away a couple of Gatorade bottles and instead of thinking how nice it was that they went out their way to actually find a garbage can (old me) I noticed that those bottles were recyclable (CA influence).

I sat in the yard all evening playing with puppies and a kitten (oh, I can't even talk about what happened to the other kitten) and dogs and cats and a calf... Gosh, I didn't even go visit the rabbit on the front porch. The weather was perfect. The trees are gorgeous. My family is here. *happy sigh*

Now, of course, I'll never convince you that this is not hickville. That there is culture here, and it's not all 'coon tail-antennas. Oh well. You just stay in California and there will be more room for me here, in heaven on earth.

Finally

Blogger wouldn't let me change my reading recommendations for the longest time. It has been at least 8 months, I think. FINALLY, I just changed it. So it should be current. Not that anyone looks at it, but there you have it.
Does it bother anyone else that all my sentences are the same length? It's driving me crazy.

For Kooker

Kooker, this update is for you. Though I work in 12 hours, should be in bed, and have nothing to say, still I shall update my blog.
Hmmm.

I'm wondering where I've been for the last three months, that I've had nothing worth blogging. I know that I have... that many times I've thought to myself, "Self, you should blog that. That's just too funny not to blog." But you see, depression is a pit that is awfully hard to climb out of. So instead you sit at the bottom of the pit and do nothing. Even when you are housesitting, you sleep until 5 pm and don't bother to feed the dog because you are not bothering to feed yourself.

Wow, this is more incoherent than I expected. And I did expect incoherency because, as I mentioned (or meant to mention) it is 12:39 am.

Things I could talk about right now:
Chocolate. I didn't have any chocolate whatsoever for 7 weeks. I'm so glad it's over because, boy do I love chocolate. I'm so happy that chocolate is back in my life. I'm back at the point where I could have several hot chocolates a day and be perfectly content with that. Umm num num.

Fireworks. I am more disappointed than I should be that I didn't get to see fireworks on the fourth of July. It's just that I LOVE fireworks. I love all colored light, it seems. Aurora borealis, rainbows... fireworks! I could hear fireworks. But it just sounded like thunder. I do not like thunder.

Puppies. I neeeeeeed a puppy. One that will stay a puppy, preferably. "I'm gonna buy me a dog. 'Cause I need a friend now. I'm gonna buy me a dog. My [guy], my [guy] no longer knows how--how-- How now brown cow?"
(The Monkees, in case you have no idea what just happened.)

School. I want to go back to school. I complain about everyone else studying. I want to study too. It's not fair. I want to be the person in my family with an advanced degree. Problem: I don't want to do anything with an advanced degree (not career oriented, this one). Also, I have no money.

Home. Can I go home yet? I just want to lie on the couch and pet my dogs. I miss Washington. All y'all don't know what you're missing. And it's not just Seattle. Where I live it doesn't even rain all year. Washington is so freakishly wonderfully diverse in it's geography. You need to see it. And love it. And then stay here in California and leave Washington alone.

Bedtime. I need a serotonin buildup. And maybe another glass of chocolate milk.

Kooker, I encourage you to read on for more entertaining, thoughtful, and (possibly) coherent posts.

1001

1001... Before You Die.

Have you noticed this theme? It's everywhere. Just Google "1001 before you die" and you'll see what I mean." There's probably even a list of 1001 things to Google before you die. Question: If I see 1001 buildings, travel to 1001 places, visit another 1001 places in America, eat 1001 foods, watch 1001 movies, read 1001 books, see 1001 natural wonders, and hear 1001 albums... when am I going to take 1001 breaths in order to, I don't know, not die?

Well, if you get done with all those lists, I will come up with some more off the top of my head for your consideration. Then I will get them published as a book and become rich. So that I can travel to 1001 places...

1001 Men to Date Before You Die
1001 Political Parties to Belong to Before You Die
1001 English Grammar Rules to Break Before You Die
1001 Celebrities to Waste Your Time Following Before You Die
1001 Starbucks to Drink Cappuccinos In Before You Die
1001 Blade of Grass to Watch Grow Before You Die
1001 Cable TV Stations to Flip Through Before You Die
1001 Facebook Applications to Add Before You Die
1001 Songs With the Same Three Chords to Play On Your Guitar Before You Die
1001 Strange "Metaphysics" Books to Roll Your Eyes At Before You Die
1001 Ways to Avoid Going to the Gym Before You Die Prematurely

And don't miss the all-in-one volume:

1001 Lists of 1001 Things to Do Before You Die



I think I'd rather make up my own things to do before I die.
#1 Sleep well.

okay, I'll go work on that.

Grace

Grace is possibly the most complicated simple concept. Or it is very, very simple and we have to make it complicated because we are fallen. More likely the latter. It is very easy to rely heavily on grace, to know that you're not doing well by yourself and by God but that God's grace can fully cover that. This is important. But so are works. People are afraid of works-- it sounds like it nulls grace. But it doesn't. Faith without works (is like a screen door on a submarine...). Works show our faith. Faith is dead without fruit. It is tempting to say the Old Testament is judgement, the New Testament grace. But there is much grace is the Old Testament. When Abraham was to sacrifice Isaac-- he showed is faith and there was grace. Throughout the Psalms, though there is overwhelming talk of judgement by deeds, there is constant recognition of God's goodness and love which lead him to rescue his people, even when they have sinned greatly. Conversely, there is a lot of judgement in the NT. Guess what? We still get to be judged. By God, thankfully, and not our fellow man. It's nice to know, too, that God is consistent. There is talk of the God of the Old Testament and the God of the New Testament-- like what, he changed? God is unchanging! (Hoorah for that! A little consistency in my life, please!) No, God is not changing, it is just a complicated story of redemption. God is the constant in this experiment.


Part II

A woman returned a book to the store the other day. The book is a hot-seller by an author whose style and content I don't particularly care for. Title: Grace Eventually. I haven't read this particular book-- it happens to be the latest out in paperback. I have read one of her other books (Operating Instructions) and I tried to read either Plan B or Traveling Mercies-- I don't remember. I just know that she has a bitter undertone. And really, it's not a very subtle undertone. The woman returning Grace Eventually had bought it because everyone seems to love it. But she found that this woman writing about grace was writing with a lot of hate (her word, not mine). If I could not give a refund, the woman was going to throw the book away because she did not want to support the book or the author. I understood and gave the refund.
However, it occured to me later-- where was the grace in all of this? What grace do we have for the author? Grace and love are intimately related, it seems to me.
Then, do I want other people reading these books? What is it telling them about the true nature of grace? Remember, I don't know for sure because I haven't read this book. Where is the line between my grace for the author and my desire for truth?

Okay, well, that was just some thinking out loud. But it's midnight.

Silly Bunny

Did the Easter Bunny visit you this year? Probably not. I've only heard about the E-bunny and the Silly Bunny. Question: When did the Easter Bunny become sacred enough to ban? How is the Easter Bunny religious? And not even religious, but Christian? Because, you may have noticed, only Christian holiday references are censored-- if it is any other religious observance we must be inclusive, even embracing thereof. As it is, it looks like the word easter comes from the name of a germanic pagan goddess. They thought they were taking the last bit of sacredness from The Most Important Holy Day of the year, but instead they are persecuting those germanic pagans. The Silly Bunny will leave them coal in their eggs... No wait... I'm so confused.

And I don't look good in leggings, and I've never been to Boston in the fall...

So, this high school girl I work with told me the other day that she couldn't have any pizza because she was on a diet. A diet. This is one of those girls who wears tapered jeans. (Don't even get me started on that style.) Today she dressed up for a funeral. She is wearing leggings. Black leggings. Sorry, but anyone who feels remotely comfortable in leggings should not be on a diet. That's just dangerous. I didn't even know that people who wore leggings could talk to people like me. Maybe if I didn't ever eat any pizza I could wear leggings. I could, but would I?

Didn't I have a post on stirrup pants a few months back? Huh.

What I'm reading

Blogger will not let me edit my book recommendations. How annoying. So if anyone was just dying to know what I'm reading right now, it's "The Know-it-all" by A.J. Jacobs. I laugh out loud pretty much constantly while reading. I also recommend his new book, "The Year of Living Biblically."

Not My Problem

Today I was trying to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" simultaneously to a customer. It came out "Your problem." Hmm, not exactly the sentiment I was going for.

Take luck! You too!

Thoughts on the day

Here are some things I have to say today:


Ants are amazing. My nephew got an ant farm-- it's one of those cool green gel light-up ones. I think I spent 15 minutes watching those ants tonight. You start to wonder what they feel. Do you they feel some kind of joy or at least satisfaction when they have tunneled to the surface? I actually pumped my fist and cheered for them when one finally crawled through the top of the tunnel they were making. Did they care? Do ants have little ant spirits? It's amazing to watch them communicate too. You could see the cooperate even as it looked like they were just stepping all over each other. It's a good thing they are not claustrophobic and do not have space-issues. Oh, but what if they do? See? Ant farms can be great for a Friday night.


24 hour fitness is good for being open at all hours. You know, thus the name and all that. I just got back from the gym, and it's about 11:00 at night. However, when you go to the gym at night I should warn you that you'll be subjected to prime time TV. I haven't watched much TV in about two months, since moving down here. I don't really miss it. I actually had to cut my workout short because the TV was so depressing. Four channels, all depressing. All my exercise-induced endorphin release for nothing. Crime show, news tickers, and even sports where they tell us that Bobby Fischer died. Tomorrow is Saturday, and if I manage to get up, I'll be there in the morning. Last time that meant Disney channel fluff was being broadcast, and I will gladly take it.

On my way back to the store from Starbucks today, I stopped to pet a dog, as I often do. The dog tried to eat my bagel.

I would like to learn to play my guitar. I would also like to pick up piano again.
While I'm wishing for things, I think I might like long hair again. Not sure. Good thing I have this blog so that I can ponder trivial things like this in black and white.

I just closed a Word document and it asked me if I wanted to save the changes to document 42. 42!?!? My niece and nephew must have been typing earlier. 42 is a lot of documents.

I'm reading a good book right now. A book that makes me laugh out loud so that people ask me what I'm reading. It's always nice to be reading a good book.

I feel like I'm writing small tidbits while I wait for the thing I was really going to write about to come back to me... What was it? Maybe it was nothing. Maybe I'm really supposed to be baking cookies for a housewarming party tomorrow or perhaps I should just go to bed. I'll probably think of something that is of great import as soon as I leave. And what will the world do without my blog entry? I guess we'll find out.