Communication Studies

Who invented mail? What a terrible idea! Mail turned into telegraphs, which turned into telephones, which turned into fax machines, which turned into emails, which turned into facebook and texting. At some point, one must have been content to stay in one's own community and communicate (see that? community/communicate? Oh fail, I can see already that the definition of community will come into play here...) with those right around them. Instead now we have to be friends with people clear across the world. And even if those friends were once right around you, you can't be satisfied to have crossed paths with them and move on. No, you must keep in touch! There ain't no excuse these days not to.

And you know why we have to? Because of relationships. And you know why we have to have relationships? Because God made us that way. Why? He's relational and he wanted us to experience that too, so he made us in His image. Thanks a lot, God. Srsly. Okay, yeah, I know, it's not your fault we took that free will and threw perfection out the window. Sometimes I just wonder about the value of autonomy. I'm usually wondering when I'm in pain.

Look, it's not that I don't want to keep in touch. It's not that I don't love my friends and I am ridiculously aware that I'm made as a relational being. And yes, I believe my community can be defined in different ways, one of those ways including people I need to keep in touch with long distance. I just get so overwhelmed, practically obsessed with my email and facebook and cell phone... It may even affect my health and possibly the Most Important Relationship and our communion (there is it again!). I won't go to bed without checking every single facebook update since I was on the night before, looking at my email, and seeing if the love of my life has contacted me yet (I don't know who he is, but he could have-- you never know...). And when I can't get back to people, or I forget to, I get little pangs of guilt. Two nights ago, I didn't open my computer before bed. It was a bit of a breakthrough. Of course, I had twice as much to go through last night... and then went to bed late and didn't wake up this morning to go to a brunch where there was a discussion on... guilt. Hah! Life is so funny.

Mail, as it was, wasn't so bad. Who doesn't love getting personal mail? Something thoughtfully written? I would love to write letters again. But in this day and age, with such up-to-the minute communication going around, I hardly feel it's worth it. I could send a letter and the news is not news by the time it arrives. And when would I have time? I can't even check my email till late at night. On the other hand, as such an all or nothing person, it's nice to be able to drop just a little note to someone. They know you're thinking of them. If only snail mail were available to me, I'd never get around to writing a letter because I'd think it would have to be more than "Hey, I was just thinking of you today." Where facebook or even email is perfect for that.

Someone said the other day that at some point in American history the porch moved from the front to the back... how sad it is. People should sit on their front porch and drink lemonade and strum their guitars and say hello to the people passing by.

The days I do have time, I don't spend it writing real letters, or even catching up on email. I certainly don't spend it outside with some lemonade looking for neighbors to talk to. And I don't spend it communing with God. I spend it compulsively checking my facebook and email waiting for... something. I don't even know what.
Something must change.
But I leave you with no real conviction that anything will.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mail

On Wealth

Sometimes the need to write comes at inconvenient times. Like in the shower. When getting ready to attend your six-year-old niece's birthday party. Guess she'll have to wait.

Why is it that I can totally love my job and have no money? And a surgeon can love his or her job and have tons of money? And then she can go off on fabulous vacations and see wonderful amazing parts of the world and I cannot. The surgeon's job is obviously very important. But if the surgeon wants to read anything, my job is important too. And actually, I have no qualms about my job. I feel it is important and I love it. I love the new part I'm learning about ordering books and I love being on the floor with the customers. And I believe we are almost equally intelligent. Almost. I mean, I could have been a surgeon. I just would have had to work my butt off. Still. here I am a bookseller who has not read Little Women, Moby Dick, Fahrenheit 451, East of Eden, or for that matter any Stephen King, Agatha Christie, or Kurt Vonnegut. And I will not have the chance to on any long airplane rides to Italy or the Galapagos.

So how can I go about enjoying life in the same way? How can I enjoy the freezing cold Pacific ocean since I can't even put a little toe in it when other people are splashing blissfully in the spa-like Atlantic? How can I enjoy EPA with it's bars-on-the corner store while others OOoh and AAahh and the Louvre? For heaven's sake I've even only been to Disney Land for 1/2 a day when I was 9. I can't even afford to go to camp with my church up state this summer because Who the Heck can take vacation? A mountain lake?! Please! Choose me!
I just long to enjoy life with friends and I take all the opportunity I can, but I end up burned out and broke. And even that is just from enjoying life here in three local Nor Cal towns.

Aiya. (Yes, I've turned Asian, also. What I meant to say was Uff-da.)
On that note. My headache and I are going to Amy's martial arts birthday party (I keep typing martian arts, which I think would be more interesting) for pizza and cake and the most beautiful thing the world has to offer-- happy children. (I'm actually not convinced that's true, but I'm trying to wrap this up on a happy note.)
I'll probably continue to "write" in the car, so maybe more later...

Have returned, and must say that now I want a martial arts birthday party too. Peter, the kids' teacher, always amazes me because he engages them so well. I've never seen anyone work with kids as well as he does. He also had my tough little girl sitting on his motorcycles revving the engine. It was a great party.
I'm home now to enjoy the feeling of a full tank of gas, a good book, and a voice mail from good friends (That's YOU, dear Choates! I know you read my blog!). That is how some of us feel rich, I suppose.

one hot Saturday evening...

I wonder what perfect weather is. 72 degrees? Slight breeze? Evening? Whatever it is right now, is not it. Of course, I haven't been outside all day, but whatever it has been for the last several days and whatever is making my house too hot inside... that's not it. I'm sitting here half dressed in front of my fan (not convenient when the very good looking young man comes rings the doorbell to talk to me about measure J) reading two chapters at a time of my book, sleeping, and compulsively checking my email because I'm convinced that it's too hot and humid to even go buy raspberry lemonade at the Safeway 1/2 a mile away. I could maybe risk it soon. According to the ever-reliable interwebz, it's currently 76, wind at 13 mph, and humidity dropped to 45%. Not sure raspberry lemonade is worth it though. Maybe if someone wanted to hang out. But all my roommates are out of town and everyone I've tried to get a hold of it MIA. I might be reduced to cleaning out my closet or filing paper. Or, more realistically, thinking about cleaning out my closet and filing papers and really reading two chapters of my book and then finding something worthless to watch on Hulu. Ah, Saturday. So many things I should do and so little motivation.
Does anyone else need people for motivation? I could always clean my room more easily if my mom came and kept me company. I need to make a dessert for tomorrow night, but I'd rather do it with some company. I need to get rid of a bunch of my stuff. But I'd rather have someone to run those decisions by. I should probably clean the whole freakin' house... but it's so freakin' hot!
So. Oh well. I certainly couldn't be accused of not taking a day of rest this week. The attitude might not be exactly right on, but it's a step.

Wow, I just lost this post and thankfully found it in drafts. Thank goodness for autosave. I mean, it's not like there's anything important or philosophically deep here, but I was sad when it was gone anyway.
Alright, I guess I'll post it now. I know everyone's dying to read it.
:)