25-yr-old female extra/introvert seeks peace

I feel like I have a lot to say right now. And I should, right? I haven’t posted anything for months. I could post my last couple of updates that I sent out as emails. But right now I just want to think “out loud.”
Today I was at a restaurant, and as I was at the end of the table, it was easy to remove myself from the large group I was with (I’m guessing close to 20 people). I moved into introvert mode, and pretty desperately wanted to get out of there. Instead, I listened and watched. At the table next to us were two men and they were talking about a woman. Critiquing her—“Oh, I could see how people think she’s cute, but I’ve been around her so much I think she’ annoying.” “Oh, she’s not that smart, I mean, her mom was ecstatic when she got a 900 on her SATs.” And I thought to myself, how awful. How awful to have someone talking about you like that when you’re not there to defend yourself. How awful for someone you probably trust to talk about how you’re annoying. One of my greatest fears is to be annoying. I don’t know that girl, but I feel for her. What do people say about me when I’m not there? (And no, I don’t want to know. Aslan proved it to Lucy and that’s all I need.) Who are we to judge anyway?
Speaking of judging, what is it about judging other people’s relationship’s with God? Okay, I can see if the fruit is not there, you’re going to make assumptions (which still probably isn’t a great idea.) But if you see the fruit, and you say you see the fruit, lay off! It’s my walk. My relationship. Things are going to happen differently. I am a different person and my relationship with God is different than yours. My relationship with you is different from my relationship with anyone else and than anyone else’s is with you. Thank you for the advice, thank you for sharing your thoughts and what you have learned from study, from listening, from experience, and prayer. I truly appreciate those things. But understand that we are different. I know it’s out of love. And it’s not an appropriate response to act out of being hurt. I am hurt. But I am secure in my love, faith, and trust in Christ. That must be the force behind everything I do.
And as far as relationships go, I suppose I should too should recognize that those are different, that they are all going to develop differently, probably even for two people in one relationship. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so emotional, so quickly attached, so affectionate, so caring and sentimental. And certainly that I didn’t let it all be seen. I am an open book. I know people who I think are a little too private. But I wish I were somewhere in between. Somewhere that showed some sense.
I feel like I need to remove myself from a lot of feelings in order to hear God. But is that true? Perhaps God really speaks to me through my feelings. Especially a sense of peace. But what if there is no real peace? What if neither choice leaves you feeling great? Instead you either feel scared, vulnerable, or like you just ignored God. And if you are following God does it follow that you should feel scared? That seems wrong. I need peace right now. I’ve come down to CA, I’m relatively happy here. I have friends (insert new, exciting, fun, and possibly difficult relationships). My job is okay. I like my church. I miss people at home. I miss my college friends and all their new babies. I miss my home church. I miss winter. Right now, though, I can’t imagine moving back. I think about other things, like getting a master’s degree, going on a mission, or something else. (What, moving wasn’t enough change for me?) I don’t know that I feel settled here (maybe because I’m not totally satisfied in my job) but I know that it’s not the right time to go home. My biggest decision to make right now is about going on a mission trip for a year. I need to crack down on the application—if I don’t at least get that in, I think I will feel like I’m avoiding a call. If I have the application in, God can take it from there. So, perhaps before I try feeling a deep peace about that, I had better get through the first step.
In the meantime, I ask for peace. I think it’s all I can ask for right now. There’s so much unanswered in my life. I’ve only been down here two months, so I think I can consider this a transition period still. I don’t have to feel settled about it. There’s a lot still going on around me and in my life. Change. It’s not over yet. I mean, change is never over, but I think this big change isn’t over. It’s actually a big, big change. Bigger than moving down here. It’s deeper than that I think. Which could lead me into talking about other things, like baptism, but I don’t know that I’m up for it right now. Instead I turn to the comfort of my favorite verse:

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:4-7 NRSV

Peace be with you.