Ouija Theory

Many parts of life (or maybe just finding a seat) are (is) much like being the planchette on a ouija board. (Before you attack my use of “a” rather than “an” see the pronunciation of ouija.) Think about it: You walk into a please-seat-yourself restaurant and how do you decide where to sit? You stop and sit when it feels right. It’s the same on a bus, in the staff lunch room, in a new classroom, at church, etc. Until you’ve established your routine sitting spot and unless you have some OCDish thing about sitting in corners so that you can see everyone but they can’t see you (I don’t know anybody like that… ahem…), this is generally how seating happens. You come to rest. Hover, hover, hover… rest. The only question is: What does it all mean? Ooooooh. Next time you end up at a table with a nasty waiter and dirty silverware, or the kid behind you is kicking your seat you just blame it on the evil spirits that guided your little ouija-rear to that chair.

Whatever, it’s all theory and I’ve never even seen an Ouija board. (Not to mention that fact that I don't believe it at all. Disclaimer in case anyone random reads this and decides to tell me all about how the spirits move them. The Spirit moves me, but itain't those spirits and itain't like that.)

PS: Ouija (registered trademark of Parker Brothers), not to be confused with ouji, the Japanese fashion. I do not find the problem of seating to be like Japanese fashion. Japanese fashion is a problem all in itself.